Hey everyone!
Today, I was talking about the challenge of dating with a few friends and I think that conversation may have prompted this blog entry. So, thank you (you know who you are). :-)
It's been quite some time since I've written a blog article and now, I feel it's time for me to write again. Very honestly, I've just closed the door on a very difficult season and this blog is a message of transparency to encourage singles waiting for Love. Waiting for mutual love can be a very daunting and discouraging process fueled by the feelings of rejection, low self-esteem and loneliness. Depending on your daily environment, it can be a constant reminder of failure and lack. Admittedly, there are times, I feel like an outsider looking in. In an effort to comfort my soul, I shift my focus to other things to occupy my thoughts - sometimes it works and other times, it does not. I am writing this post because I have felt the heart of my fellow singles and it is NOT always an easy journey. I've heard it said to be content and yes, being content is a part of learning how to be fulfilled as a single but it does not negate the feelings of inadequacies and failure especially when you've purposed to wait on God. Can I be honest?? Being single can be the best of times but also the worst of times. It can be a moment of much success and quiet failure. It can be a time of much joy and secret sorrow.
I struggled with writing this blog because taking a risk like this can be costly. However, I realize I am a voice and I believe this blog will help somebody. I know what it's like to put your heart on an open platter for love not to be mutually returned and respected. I know what it is to try to live life as a celibate individual and yet fail because your desires are screaming out at you. I know what it is to be a Christian and feel like God has turned his back on the thing your heart desires. I know what it is to live in the throws of man's ambiguity and personal confusion while waiting in hopeful anticipation. I know what it is to suffer alone in silence while the rest of the world thinks you're okay. I know what it is to be told that your personal standards are too high and as such, you will never experience true love. I know what it is to say the words "I love you" and NOT hear the same in return. I know what it is to struggle with a broken heart, left to feel like it's the end of the world and you're nothing. Essentially, I am writing this blog to tell you my fellow single: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I also want to affirm the struggle is real YET I am learning there is hope. Key word is learning. Sometimes, it looks bleak and feels hopeless but it takes courage to love. It takes courage to feel again and to take the risk. It takes courage to wait for the right one to love you in return...simply put, it takes courage.
So, as I wait for LOVE (as we wait for love), please know that being honest about where you are is the beginning of accepting and fully embracing your singleness. Fight the urge to be jealous and to be presumptuous. I know you might get angry with God, I've been there too, still struggle at times with that but YOU are worth loving...you are beautiful, you are amazing! You're gorgeous...drop dead gorgeous and the right somebody will come along to recognize and honor you appropriately. You won't have to convince them because they will be willing. Resist the urge to compare yourself to other single friends and be true to who you are. Never be afraid to take risk and learn to discern when someone is tampering with your heart and wasting your time. When someone fails to regard your heart, move quickly away from such treatment and detox yourself from such poison. Forgive quickly and move forward. You never know....LOVE just might be on the other side.
I'm encouraged, hope you are as well!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
