So, I can't resist the temptation and allow the day to go by without saying: " I AM NOT DEFEATED!!" As a matter of fact, I am a winner and every attempt to smash me or knock me down is rendered VOID and of NO real impact!! You see, life has a way of bringing you curve balls and the devil has a way of adding his two cents by planting negative seeds to suggest you are a failure. However, I am here to boldly announce there is absolutely NOTHING that can hold us back IF we believe it!
Last night, I had an personal encounter that changed my life! Life is full of insightful moments, only if we listen and pay attention! Why am I so adamant?? Well, I'm tired of seeing people (including myself) suffer internally and even externally because of torment! Torment is NOT of God, as a matter of fact, it is a nasty plot of the enemy to steal your joy, to rob you of peace and to take your mind! Life is too precious and there is too much to live for.
So, what is my admonishment today...well, simply put...as LL Cool J would say, " I'm making a COMEBACK!" Not only am I coming back but I am bouncing back...taking my rightful place and standing in confidence knowing THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Friends, please know the same in your lives. Hurtful situations, bad decisions and people with ill motives have LOST their power over me and I encourage you to strip them of their power by determining to STAY IN THE RACE!! Don't fold, don't compromise and don't be a PUNK! Stand up, square your backs and FIGHT!! Look in that mirror and say to yourself: "I am a winner and every disappointment is opportunity for future advancement!"
I'm reminded of a large inflated doll with a bottom base. When the doll is hit, it goes backward and maybe even to the side, back and forth BUT it's foundation is sturdy enough for it NOT to fall completely to the ground. And like that inflated doll, we cannot fall to the ground when our foundation is sturdy, when it's secure and when we stand knowing who we are in confidence. You may have been sucker punch, like I have been BUT the pain will not last forever. This TOO shall pass! LOL!!! I love it! Put on your gear and speak the words of its' DESTRUCTION AND DEMISE...put it (whatever IT is) to death with the power of your words and then walk on in victory!! You can make it and you are a WINNER!
The Art of bouncing back happens in 4 phases:
1. Release the negative - whatever happened...LET IT GO!! Acknowledge it but quickly release it because to hold on TOO long is to compromise your place and to position yourself for a setback. NOT! Let it go!
2. Embracing the positive - believe what is positive. If you believe better days are coming, better days will! Reject the thoughts that you are no good and embrace good things - what does the Bible say? Find inspirational material and SPEAK positive affirmations daily!
3. Focus on YOU - Do something you've always wanted to do! Pursue a new hobby, meet somebody new, go out on the date and give that person a chance! Pamper yourself (this applies to both ladies and men)...pamper yourself...love on YOU. As you do, you will in turn, remain a healthy YOU!
4. Bounce back and MOVE!!! - And then return to the ring again and HIT life with your best shot of positivity, hope and courage. Be bold, be courageous and GET IN THERE AGAIN!! Don't let nothing or no one keep you hindered! See it for what it is BUT MOVE! If someone hurt you, return the favor by forgiving them and that will diminish their power over you! Hahaha!!
I love it! I hope you can benefit from this admonishment today. I apologize in advance but my eyes are open and I see clearly now the rain is gone. I am raising my voice today, declaring a different standard! We will live and NOT die! My life is headed in the right direction and SO is yours!!!!
Signing off...
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Gift of Celebration
Tonight was probably one of the BEST evenings I've had in a very long time. It was refreshing and just plain 'ole fun! After a week of many tragedies and life challenges, tonight I decided to celebrate. Yes, Valentine's Day is just another day but for me this year was the best! Why? Well, the gift of celebration accompanied with girl talk and a good time brought me joy and peace!!
Well, I went to a wonderful local comedy club this evening and boy I laugh! Sidebar, let me say, I think comedians are SO cool! Funny men are so attractive! Give me a man who makes me laugh any day and I am in heaven!! Sorry, for the side bar! LOL! At any rate, anyone who knows me personally know I have a big laugh. I laughed so much and so loud the comedian began to pick on me. As he did, I laughed even more - the crowd begin to laugh at me because of my laughter! LOLOLOL!!! I enjoy laughing, it is extremely therapeutic for me. It releases stress in my life and brings me to a calm space. Additionally, laughter carries a healing agent and a sense of comfort along with it! The comedians were great, the crowd was fun and the experience was something new and I embraced it with open arms!!
So, a part of the comedian's act included talking about single-hood and initially, I shouted out from the audience: "NO!" I thought, "Man, just do your jokes and sit down." The comedian was a single man, never been married with NO kids and he was puzzled about where to go to find good women... First, of all, I yelled out "OMG, are you serious?!?" And then, I begin to clap (yes, this is during his act), I gave him a thunderous applause and begin to think, "Now, where have YOU been all my life." Ladies, HE WAS A CUTIE! :-) Okay, let me focus... Being a single woman isn't always easy, nor is it always fun (can I be real?). Sshhh...Don't judge me. :-) Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my independence and ability to come and go as I please. However, I will be the first to acknowledge there are some lonely days while on the journey. And quite frankly, the commercialism and hype of Valentine's Day can sometimes wear on you, BAM, it's right there in your face! Before you know it, you are in a closet sobbing because you don't have that "special" someone. The joys of single-hood!! :-) This year, I purposed I would NOT be that girl! I treated myself ALL DAY and made NO apologies for it!! I love being a lady and I love being me...
I'm learning how to pursue wholeness as I date. In other words, I am learning from each dating experience, nothing falls to the ground! Everything counts!!! Truly, to be single is to be whole... The word single suggests wholeness and oneness. As I date, I learn something new and I am grateful to be in a place to candidly share my story. I may offend some with my transparency but this is who I am. If I can't be me, I'm suggesting to my Creator He made a mistake when He created me. We are all unique and special, that's just HIS way! He gives us the personality traits and abilities. No, I'm not perfect but I'm okay as long as I'm willing to demonstrate a desire to improve. I'm learning to draw from the inner strength I have....the gift of celebration! When I celebrate and love myself, it helps me to keep the right perspective as I date - a healthy one. The dating world is not an easy one to navigate BUT it does get easier when we learn valuable lessons from the encounters we have. Life is a classroom, if we just play attention, we will advance far and learn much! Sometimes, I feel like men are just as confused as the women are. However, everyone wants love, everyone wants to feel loved by that significant "other" at the end of the day. It's not a terrible desire, it's an honorable one! It's a desire I believe God put within us all. However, we have to learn how to celebrate WHERE we are in our singleness and WHO we are!
So, tonight, I embraced the gift of celebration and the joys of friendship, laughter and girl talk! Being with trustworthy friends is a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine's Day...it ain't that bad after all! One day, I will celebrate with Mr. Man but until then, I am learning to be content just where I am and having a BLAST while doing it!!! Hey, I encourage you to do the same!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!! LOVE YA!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Well, I went to a wonderful local comedy club this evening and boy I laugh! Sidebar, let me say, I think comedians are SO cool! Funny men are so attractive! Give me a man who makes me laugh any day and I am in heaven!! Sorry, for the side bar! LOL! At any rate, anyone who knows me personally know I have a big laugh. I laughed so much and so loud the comedian began to pick on me. As he did, I laughed even more - the crowd begin to laugh at me because of my laughter! LOLOLOL!!! I enjoy laughing, it is extremely therapeutic for me. It releases stress in my life and brings me to a calm space. Additionally, laughter carries a healing agent and a sense of comfort along with it! The comedians were great, the crowd was fun and the experience was something new and I embraced it with open arms!!
So, a part of the comedian's act included talking about single-hood and initially, I shouted out from the audience: "NO!" I thought, "Man, just do your jokes and sit down." The comedian was a single man, never been married with NO kids and he was puzzled about where to go to find good women... First, of all, I yelled out "OMG, are you serious?!?" And then, I begin to clap (yes, this is during his act), I gave him a thunderous applause and begin to think, "Now, where have YOU been all my life." Ladies, HE WAS A CUTIE! :-) Okay, let me focus... Being a single woman isn't always easy, nor is it always fun (can I be real?). Sshhh...Don't judge me. :-) Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my independence and ability to come and go as I please. However, I will be the first to acknowledge there are some lonely days while on the journey. And quite frankly, the commercialism and hype of Valentine's Day can sometimes wear on you, BAM, it's right there in your face! Before you know it, you are in a closet sobbing because you don't have that "special" someone. The joys of single-hood!! :-) This year, I purposed I would NOT be that girl! I treated myself ALL DAY and made NO apologies for it!! I love being a lady and I love being me...
I'm learning how to pursue wholeness as I date. In other words, I am learning from each dating experience, nothing falls to the ground! Everything counts!!! Truly, to be single is to be whole... The word single suggests wholeness and oneness. As I date, I learn something new and I am grateful to be in a place to candidly share my story. I may offend some with my transparency but this is who I am. If I can't be me, I'm suggesting to my Creator He made a mistake when He created me. We are all unique and special, that's just HIS way! He gives us the personality traits and abilities. No, I'm not perfect but I'm okay as long as I'm willing to demonstrate a desire to improve. I'm learning to draw from the inner strength I have....the gift of celebration! When I celebrate and love myself, it helps me to keep the right perspective as I date - a healthy one. The dating world is not an easy one to navigate BUT it does get easier when we learn valuable lessons from the encounters we have. Life is a classroom, if we just play attention, we will advance far and learn much! Sometimes, I feel like men are just as confused as the women are. However, everyone wants love, everyone wants to feel loved by that significant "other" at the end of the day. It's not a terrible desire, it's an honorable one! It's a desire I believe God put within us all. However, we have to learn how to celebrate WHERE we are in our singleness and WHO we are!
So, tonight, I embraced the gift of celebration and the joys of friendship, laughter and girl talk! Being with trustworthy friends is a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine's Day...it ain't that bad after all! One day, I will celebrate with Mr. Man but until then, I am learning to be content just where I am and having a BLAST while doing it!!! Hey, I encourage you to do the same!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!! LOVE YA!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Moving forward...
One of the most challenging things to do in life is learning how to move forward! The older I get, the more obvious this reality becomes. Many times, we allow fear to cloud our view and give us a negative perspective of who we are and what we are looking at. It's in moments like these, I am reminded to ascend to higher place and look down. It is from an ascended place, I see clearly. It is true that as an airplane elevates thousands upon thousands of feet above the clouds, the view becomes clearer and sky is beautiful and bright!
Fear is the enemy of success in families, in our careers, love relationships, friendships, and health, just to name a few. Ultimately, fear is designed to sabotage. When you closely examine fear, you realize it is the enemy of your soul...it is the REAL enemy. While it could be argued that fear is a good thing, I am not referring to fear from a reverential perspective. Certainly, that type of fear has its' place. However, I'm referring to fear from the perspective of hesitancy, resistance, insecurity, rejection - those lies that hold us captive to unhealthy emotions, unhealthy relationships and unhealthy responses.
Traditionally, it has been known to say the opposite of fear is courage. However, I'm inclined to disagree. In my experiences and opinion, I've found LOVE to be the opposite of fear. To properly assess, your inability to move forward, one must assess WHY. Many times, "the" why is rooted in low-self esteem, heartache, disappointment, anxiety, rejection, misunderstanding and yes, there are others. Why are we so inclined to withdraw or to drawback from things, situations, people that will ultimately make us better? Why do we offer excuses for not being healthy - spirit, soul and body? And why do we blame others for our lack or inability to move forward? If we possessed the right SELF-PERSPECTIVE...we would respond differently. Currently, I am taking a course in Human Sexuality and I must say, this course has challenged me on SO MANY levels! However, the author points out the different styles of love and our natural tendencies to operate in them based on who we are. One of the styles of love is defined as "agape" and personally, I've learned about this love in church. However, I didn't really see it in action until I learned HOW to receive love from my Creator. As I embraced His love for me, it taught me HOW to love myself. Fear says that I am not worthy, so I can't move forward. But love says, you are worthy, not because of what you've done or haven't done...you're worthy just because. Everything in creation was created good and God accepts us where we are, His love isn't predicated upon what we do and what we don't do. His demonstration of love towards us is that He gave.... In other words, I guess I am inclined to believe that until we truly love ourselves through Him, we will not walk in uninhibited places of freedom and victory. We will always be stifled and we will continue to repeat vicious cycles. It takes risk to move forward, it takes risk to love, it takes risks to begin again but if you love yourself, you will understand why it's necessary.
FORGIVE yourself. That's right! If you made a bad decision? So, what!?! It's done, it's over. Perhaps, you thought it was the best thing at the time and so did I. Been there, done that! Release your self from the personal disappointment you've encountered. Life is a learning experience and every situation matters. It is an opportunity to help someone else, it's an opportunity to share your story. This is a process, I am working on right now...learning to forgive myself means I accept the past decisions I've made, be it good or bad / right or wrong. I'm learning to live GUILT-FREE! We cannot afford to drown in the sea of regret!! Regret is also a terrible enemy. It happened, it happened for a reason, NOW, pick yourself up and move forward... No back paddling here! :-) There is something to be said for trying something new, stepping into unknown, uncharted territories. There is something to be said about having the courage to do something you've never done before. I dare you...I dare you to challenge yourself and to boldly go where no man has gone before! Thank you Star Trek :-) Take heart and DO it afraid! Eventually, the fear will dissipate and love will abound!!
Today, I am very introspective as I face many decisions, many opportunities, and many failures. However, I am determined to continue to love me and to give myself the opportunity, the chance and the motivation to continue to move forward. Friends, don't allow anything, anyone or any situation paralyze or stunt your growth. Care enough to love you and take the risk...move forward, I promise you there is something wonderful awaiting your arrival!
Thank you for allowing me to share myself with you....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Fear is the enemy of success in families, in our careers, love relationships, friendships, and health, just to name a few. Ultimately, fear is designed to sabotage. When you closely examine fear, you realize it is the enemy of your soul...it is the REAL enemy. While it could be argued that fear is a good thing, I am not referring to fear from a reverential perspective. Certainly, that type of fear has its' place. However, I'm referring to fear from the perspective of hesitancy, resistance, insecurity, rejection - those lies that hold us captive to unhealthy emotions, unhealthy relationships and unhealthy responses.
Traditionally, it has been known to say the opposite of fear is courage. However, I'm inclined to disagree. In my experiences and opinion, I've found LOVE to be the opposite of fear. To properly assess, your inability to move forward, one must assess WHY. Many times, "the" why is rooted in low-self esteem, heartache, disappointment, anxiety, rejection, misunderstanding and yes, there are others. Why are we so inclined to withdraw or to drawback from things, situations, people that will ultimately make us better? Why do we offer excuses for not being healthy - spirit, soul and body? And why do we blame others for our lack or inability to move forward? If we possessed the right SELF-PERSPECTIVE...we would respond differently. Currently, I am taking a course in Human Sexuality and I must say, this course has challenged me on SO MANY levels! However, the author points out the different styles of love and our natural tendencies to operate in them based on who we are. One of the styles of love is defined as "agape" and personally, I've learned about this love in church. However, I didn't really see it in action until I learned HOW to receive love from my Creator. As I embraced His love for me, it taught me HOW to love myself. Fear says that I am not worthy, so I can't move forward. But love says, you are worthy, not because of what you've done or haven't done...you're worthy just because. Everything in creation was created good and God accepts us where we are, His love isn't predicated upon what we do and what we don't do. His demonstration of love towards us is that He gave.... In other words, I guess I am inclined to believe that until we truly love ourselves through Him, we will not walk in uninhibited places of freedom and victory. We will always be stifled and we will continue to repeat vicious cycles. It takes risk to move forward, it takes risk to love, it takes risks to begin again but if you love yourself, you will understand why it's necessary.
FORGIVE yourself. That's right! If you made a bad decision? So, what!?! It's done, it's over. Perhaps, you thought it was the best thing at the time and so did I. Been there, done that! Release your self from the personal disappointment you've encountered. Life is a learning experience and every situation matters. It is an opportunity to help someone else, it's an opportunity to share your story. This is a process, I am working on right now...learning to forgive myself means I accept the past decisions I've made, be it good or bad / right or wrong. I'm learning to live GUILT-FREE! We cannot afford to drown in the sea of regret!! Regret is also a terrible enemy. It happened, it happened for a reason, NOW, pick yourself up and move forward... No back paddling here! :-) There is something to be said for trying something new, stepping into unknown, uncharted territories. There is something to be said about having the courage to do something you've never done before. I dare you...I dare you to challenge yourself and to boldly go where no man has gone before! Thank you Star Trek :-) Take heart and DO it afraid! Eventually, the fear will dissipate and love will abound!!
Today, I am very introspective as I face many decisions, many opportunities, and many failures. However, I am determined to continue to love me and to give myself the opportunity, the chance and the motivation to continue to move forward. Friends, don't allow anything, anyone or any situation paralyze or stunt your growth. Care enough to love you and take the risk...move forward, I promise you there is something wonderful awaiting your arrival!
Thank you for allowing me to share myself with you....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
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