Ease on Down the Road

Hey family,

It's a good time to be alive!  Today, I woke up pondering all of the blessings God has bestowed upon my life and I am grateful.  Many doors are opening while simultaneously many are shutting. However, I am convinces this is a GREAT time to be alive.  The last few days I have been inudated with many projects and new opportunities; much to my amazement things are faring well!  Despite my tendency to be a perfectionist, I am learning to ENJOY this process...

The other day I mentioned to a friend of mine that as I approach 40 (yes, I will be forty years old next year), my perspective on life is shifting.  As a younger person, I remember living to please others, needing their validation/approval.  Now, I am at a point in my life, where the opinions of others do not mean as much.  I'm learning how to be comfortable in my skin, after all life is short and the end of the day, I want to be proud of the life I chose live.  So, the other day while I was shopping at Columbia Mall (I was reviewing music in my head from the Wiz) and it HIT me.  It's like the light bulb came on!  I began to reflect on the lyrics of the song: "Com'on ease on down, ease on down the road...don't you carry NOTHING that might be a load."  FREEDOM!!!  It was in that moment, I purposed to ease on down the road...no more struggling, no more contention but I would force myself to do things in ease - freedom from labor or pain!  No MORE DIS-EASE!  There is a road with my name on it, with your name on it and it is a path purposed for you.  Despite whatever obstacles or obstructions you are facing,  you can ease on down the road dumping everything that will hinder you! Who would have thought that the lyrics of a song from a musical could offer so much life??  Join me why don't you....EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD!!

Lending my voice,

Lady J

The Obscure Beginnings of a Great Movement

Good morning family,

As I stated in my last post, I made a commitment this year to blog at least once a week. So, here it goes...

"Every process has a beginning and end.  Your beginning serves a great purpose"

The events leading up to the night of the showcase that would change my life forever were accompanied by feelings of anger, hurt and pain.  I've often heard people use the analogy of "giving birth" when it comes to the visible manifestation of a dream or personal aspiration.  The reality is this, I haven't given birth, but if the pain and labor I encountered is anything like what some of my sisters who are mothers have endured, I applaud your strength and endurance.  Certainly, I don't speak in terms of physical pain but rather the intense emotional hurt and pain from such undertaking.  One of the reasons, I waited so long to pen or publish my thoughts about my event is because of my intense desire to "protect" the innocent.  As I write, I am careful to not to offend but rather share my story...my account or perspective of things that have directly impacted me because I am convinced people need to know they are not alone.  No man is an island, no man stands alone.  Hence, my intent is to release hope and strength to those in need.  Certainly, I could write for entertainment purposes but I figure there is enough out there and now we have, Real Husbands of Hollywood...LOL!!  Nonetheless,  I choose to be a beacon of light and endurance.

It is true: obscure places can bring about great things in your life.  My dream was birthed on the back of obscurity... As a child, I struggled tremendously with rejection especially among my peers and the need for this validation unfortunately found itself in my adulthood.  It took on various manifestations and became less detectable as journeyed through... From extreme behavior such as wanting to be liked by everyone to being determined to be different.  These extreme behavioral patterns are key indicators that something is lacking and that I was vying for attention.  Much of my life, I turned to spirituality as certainly God was the only one who understood isolating myself from others - creating an even greater force field of rejection.  

I was never completely certain about WHO I was as an artist/singer.  I grew up exposed to Gospel music only and I have a strong musical background.  Most of my family sings. However, I was the "least" of these.  I remember getting so nervous when people would call me to sing that I would vomit before and after.  I remember feelings of being light headed while on stage and lastly, how can I forget burping in the mic because of nerves.  You see, I never thought I would sing.  Although, I had been singing all the time, I didn't think I had much to offer because I didn't do ten thousand riffs like Kim Burrell or Darryl Coley.  Plus, I wasn't convinced I had the capacity to really singing.  Unfortunately, singing in the church became a laborious thing for me because I didn't measure up...I didn't make the cut.  After all, my singing voice was mediocre.  You see, I was told at a very tender age, that I was a mediocre singer and these words never left my mind.  People, it's very important to remember just how powerful our words are especially when we are speaking to our children.  I was a child and basically, my interpretation of that statement was that I didn't have the goods nor talent to sing at all.  Those words left an indelible impression which planted seeds of doubt and fear - uncertainty.  I would hear these words being echoed throughout my life as I was called upon to sing at church, school and special events.  "You are average, just mediocre."  Yet, this is a direct contradiction to what God says because the Bible says everything He made was good.  In the eyes of my heavenly Father, He views my gift as extraordinary after all, I am an extension of Him!  Funny thing is, He feels the same way about YOU!  You are unique and special!  Nobody can beat YOU at being YOU! Hear me, I'm not suggesting that we lie to people. There is a proper way (sensitivity to timing) to speak truth and most of us fail in this department rending our victims hopeless and without joy.  

All the while what I fail to understand was this obscure place in my life was breeding ground to morph into something great, a great movement.  Later, I discovered I was more than a singer, I was a voice - a creative artist and there is no one like me.  I've been uniquely designed with greatness in mind...but it is not my doing, it is the hand of an awesome God.  It is to Him, I render and give back my talents and ability.  My obscurity was prime opportunity and while people around me rejected the unique gift, God was preparing me all the time for a special moment.  He brought clarity and helped me understand that I was more than a gospel singer (trust me, I love the genre).  He showed me the intent of my heart: to inspire and to give love; as such He uses me in any genre.  My calling extents beyond the corridors of traditionalism and religion.  Perhaps, this is why things were so obscure for me and for so long; however, this is a new paradigm,  it's one that I've seen very few people set.  I'm blazing a trail Purposed for me and this is why I had to put together a showcase.  It wasn't just for mere entertainment alone...it was about finally come out of this murky and ambiguous place to publicly declare: I was born to defy gravity.  I was born to exceed your expectations.  I was to be a voice in the earth and my artistic expression is worship that I offer back to my Creator.  As I perceive who He has destined me to be, my awareness is heightened and I'm provoked to endure; weakening the power of people's opinion and expectation of me ( those things become less important).  I set my limits according to God's plan for my life and the sky is the limited!

The days leading up to a "Classy Evening with Lady Jesaira" were designed to push me in a corner, to silence my voice and to hinder the birthing of a great movement.  However, I made a conscious decision to forgive, to pursue and to reject the words uttered to me during my youth.  I chose to rise above it and to stay the course.  A dear loved one nearly cursed me two days before my event and I held the phone determined to fight the tears, determined not be lured back into an unhealthy state.  I used this disappointment, this pain as fuel to soar and I encourage you to do the same.  The pursuit of purpose is not an easy one, perhaps finding your place is even harder but embrace the obscure seasons in your life because these humble beginnings translate into great movements if you allow them too.  Channel your disappointments, choose to view them differently.  There are some people who must walk away...let them.  God will bring the right people into your life at the right time.  I'm sure if you asked any person of great influence and impact, they will agree.  It is the murky places of your heart and your soul that creates wonderful soil to manifest a harvest.  Despise not your small beginnings, despise not the rejection you encountered, despise not the doors that were closed, despise not the people who left and despise not your own personal insecurities...  I urge you, let these moments become a bridge-way to a great movement!

So, what's next?  I'm planning an evening of Jazz and Neo Soul in May 2013 -"Lady Jesaira and Friends".  Additionally, I'm going to record and release my first EP this year - "The Journey of Love".   I'm excited and nervous but things are coming together.  God is yet blowing my mind.  More details to come...

Stay the course!

Until next time...lending my voice,

Lady J

Hey there!

Hello friends!

It's a NEW YEAR and I have yet to write...well, I'm making a commitment to post once a week.  :-)

So much transpired since my last post.  I had my first showcase and it was a tremendous success; although, I would be lying if I said it didn't come at a tremendous cost.  I lost a dear friendship and I don't think it will be repaired.  Additionally, I experienced major disappointment at the hands of family members.  However, I was determined to complete the project and I'm proud to announce: IT IS FINISHED.  Many of the lessons I learned from the experience cannot be recounted in one post...it will take several other to express the growth I encountered by taking on such an august task.

Today, I was reminded of the need to consistently use my "voice" in this forum as an opportunity to share my story.  It is my hope and desire that someone else will experience renewed strength as they read about my real life encounters.  It is true: the testimony of ONE can save the lives of many...