Today, I had a little conversation with myself and it kinda went like this: "Jesaira, why can't you seem to find love? What's wrong with you?" I answered myself with tears streaming down my eyes. Next thing I knew, I was crying uncontrollably, you know (that ugly cry). Once I finally regained my composure, I sat in complete silence for about 30 minutes. After 30 minutes of complete silence, I heard a voice say "I want to you let go of that negative thinking and see yourself like I see you. Love is first found from within." Furthermore, I heard "stop having a conversation with self-doubt and self-pity; rather, converse with truth...converse with beauty....embrace the fact that you have opportunity and time to be the best version of you, you could ever be!" If I'm honest, tears still filled my eyes but I began to embrace peace. I begin to understand the need to detox and to divorce myself from a negative perception that told me I was not worthy of love and commitment. It's not my loss because I actually have a lot to offer. Singles ladies...this struggle is so real to me and when love doesn't love you back, it's even more challenging and disappointing (heart-wrenching). I'm determined not to limit myself to the love and approval of one man...instead, I am daily choosing to see the "brighter side" of things. Today, I was reminded to have another conversation....I was reminded to stop conversing with negativity and to have a little conversation with LOVE...that self love that comes from ABOVE. I'm learning to love me all over again and although, I will be 42 years old in just a few months and I'm still single, I am hopeful the best is yet to come!
Yielding my voice,
Lady J
