Hey everyone!
I know it's been awhile since I blogged but I didn't have anything to say worth writing and why waste your time reading? You know?
Well, I'm back and I have a lot to share. I've had many experiences and I hope my story helps you in some way! Change is the only constant in MY life! Life is constantly throwing me curves balls, interesting twists and turns. Yet, I'm learning how to master and catch the curve ball. Who said curve balls can't be caught?!?!
Since my last post, much in my life has changed immensely! My life is not what it was 5 months ago. Many areas of my life have changed - from my career, to personal relationships to leadership responsbilities and etc.
I am getting ready to hit the road again contrary to what I originally thought. YAY!!! As of last Friday, I will be doing Menopause the Musical LIVE Concert Tour! I'm pretty excited but also nervous as this is my FIRST city to city, state to state tour. I will be touring in CA, MT, WA and ID. Rehearsals is 10 days long and will begin THIS Friday in sunny Orlando, Florida! Can't wait!! It's going to be alot of work but I'm ready!! This opportunity literally FAIL into my lap! I will be touring October 31 - December 18th and it's NICE pay! The ole saying is TRUE: What God has for YOU, it is explicitly for YOU and NO ONE can hamper or hinder HIS intentions for YOU! You would NOT believe the favor God extended to me! I will say this - it pays to have a great working relationship, solid reputation and a strong work ethic. You never know who God may use someone else to bless you and usher you into a greater realm.
Now, if you recall, one of the main reasons I returned home was to handle debt and to recover financially. Well, I'm glad to report that I have successfully PAID OFF three bills!!! Hallelujah, nothing better than eliminating debt from over your head. I have several more I'm working towards and I'm sure it will be handled by the end of this year, no later than Jan 2012. I've been taking care of business...enrolled in school again AND I met a wonderful man! Can't say anymore about that at this time! TOP SECRET! :-)
Another reason, it was necessary for me to return to MD was due to my assignment at my church. I love my church and my church family! My connection to this great assembly has revolutionized my life! I've been appointed to a new leadership position to serve in an area of ministry which I am passionate about and perhaps will be able to make a difference - a great impact! Promotion really does comes from God!!! I know I have my work cut out for me but God will reward those who are committed. He will release the energy, werewithal, and ability to get it done in excellence!!
And there's MORE... I had an opportunity several weeks ago to talk with 6th and 7th graders at Loch Raven Academy about my life as an artist. Thanks Ann Prissi!! :-) I also sang songs from popular musicals. My life WAS NOT the same after that experience - the youth were in awe and I was in awe of them!!! It went SO well that I've been invited back to speak to a larger crowd of students. I'm VERY excited about this assignment as well. There is nothing more rewarding than changing the life of a young person!!
So, this time or season in my life is one that will require complete focus, commitment, dedication and loyalty FIRST to God and then to others. Additionally, life is teaching me not to seek the approval of others'. While this tour is a dream of a lifetime for me, there are some who are not in agreement and feel as though I have betrayed them. However, for once in my life, I am pursuing my passion and I'm doing it without any apology. Steve Jobs said it best and no, he wasn't my best friend or homie but he said some pretty powerful things. How about this one for size? Steve Jobs said: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma." WOW!! The entire quote is powerful but these statements REACHED out to me and began to SPEAK! I am the responsible party for my life - at the end of the day, God will hold me accountable for what I've done with what HE gave me. In my heart, I struggle with validation like anyone else BUT I learning to embrace the fact the HE accepts me and loves me as I am. At the end of the day, people's opinion of you will change with the wind. So, why depend upon it for personal validation?
What about the job?? Well, I will be doing my passion full time again for now and this time I am hoping for better opportunities/great connections! I have NO regrets, I'm moving forward - no looking back!
As you experience changes in your life GO WITH THE FLOW!! Going with the flow will create an undeniable flow of peace that leads to success and wellness! Yield to the flow and LIVE your best life NOW! Stop waiting on man to approve and seek the ONE who created you! He knows EVERYTHING there is to know about you and He will grant you success as you trust Him with your life!
Until next time!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Monday, October 10, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Chicago & Stuff
Hello, everyone!
It's been awhile and I hope all is well! It's been VERY busy for me!
So, I'm presently apart of a great show: Chicago, the Musical. I'm proud of what this production has evolved into. It was this experience that taught me something else about myself. I drop my consonants sometimes when I speak...:-) I was NEVER aware of this until my director brought it to my attention. Therefore, I decided to seek out a Speech Pathologist for assistance! After I met with the pathologist, he sent me an assessment and so, I've decided to get speech therapy (he said I drop my t's and l's at times but nothing major). THANK GOD!! Thought I had a bigger issue! The things we do for the business! It's about excellence and being the best I can be, right? At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Back to Chicago, you need to come see it, come see it soon...like THIS WEDNESDAY NIGHT at 6p. Just tell them you are a friend or a family member of mines. Visit the website for pictures and more information: www.tobysdinnertheatre.com.
Hopefully, I will see YOU on the stage!! Much love!!!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Just being ME!
It's been awhile since I've written a new post. Truth of the matter is that I've been extremely busy and tired. My time has been consumed by deadlines, expectations, performances and the such.. This post has not real reason or rhyme...Just being consistent, you know?!? :-) There is something to be said about being consistent...another post for another day!
So, last night was the first night I performed since May and for the first time in a long while, I was extremely nervous. I'm playing Mama Matron Morton in Chicago the Musical at Toby's Dinner Theatre in Columbia, MD from Sept. 2- Nov. 6th. This is another role that has been played by Queen Latifah and it's a pretty fun role. It's a completely different character for me, she's quite corrupt and she's an opportunist! Although, I'm an opportunist, I'm not Mama Morton...LOL! She's an animal of a different sort! The process of developing this character was very different for me...it was during this rehearsal process I learned that I constantly drop my consonants at the end of my lines and my songs. So, in other words, my diction isn't always wonderful! LOL! When I converse in everyday conversation I'm fine but when I'm on stage, my nerves take control and I lose my breathe. I love being on stage BUT be clear - it's NO joke! Talk about being embarrassed! There is nothing more embarrassing - dropping lines because you can't breathe. But guess what? I made it through opening night and I am confident that the run will be great! I'm working with an extremely talented cast...Carole Lehan, Debra Buonaccorsi, Jeffrey Shankle, David James, Larry Munsey...great TALENT! The entire cast is great!
Come and check it out but be warned THIS IS NOT the traditional role I've played. So, for all of my sisters and brothers in Christ, just know it's a character. I'm still saved and I love Jesus Christ be clear where I stand! :-)
I'm going back to bed...I'm tired and I have a show to do later this evening, plus church and more shows... Allow me to leave you with this thought, live your life today as it was your last! LIVE ON PURPOSE! BE deliberate and let your life's purpose take you to greater dimensions! Give no space to negativity, learn from your past failures and move forward. There is a WINNER in YOU! Much love....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
So, last night was the first night I performed since May and for the first time in a long while, I was extremely nervous. I'm playing Mama Matron Morton in Chicago the Musical at Toby's Dinner Theatre in Columbia, MD from Sept. 2- Nov. 6th. This is another role that has been played by Queen Latifah and it's a pretty fun role. It's a completely different character for me, she's quite corrupt and she's an opportunist! Although, I'm an opportunist, I'm not Mama Morton...LOL! She's an animal of a different sort! The process of developing this character was very different for me...it was during this rehearsal process I learned that I constantly drop my consonants at the end of my lines and my songs. So, in other words, my diction isn't always wonderful! LOL! When I converse in everyday conversation I'm fine but when I'm on stage, my nerves take control and I lose my breathe. I love being on stage BUT be clear - it's NO joke! Talk about being embarrassed! There is nothing more embarrassing - dropping lines because you can't breathe. But guess what? I made it through opening night and I am confident that the run will be great! I'm working with an extremely talented cast...Carole Lehan, Debra Buonaccorsi, Jeffrey Shankle, David James, Larry Munsey...great TALENT! The entire cast is great!
Come and check it out but be warned THIS IS NOT the traditional role I've played. So, for all of my sisters and brothers in Christ, just know it's a character. I'm still saved and I love Jesus Christ be clear where I stand! :-)
I'm going back to bed...I'm tired and I have a show to do later this evening, plus church and more shows... Allow me to leave you with this thought, live your life today as it was your last! LIVE ON PURPOSE! BE deliberate and let your life's purpose take you to greater dimensions! Give no space to negativity, learn from your past failures and move forward. There is a WINNER in YOU! Much love....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I Know Where I've Been
So, today marked the day I auditioned for a show after a long period of submitting videos. My last face to face audition took place in February at PCPA (Pacific Conservatory Performing Arts) in Santa Maria, CA. I auditioned for Hairspray, a show that's dear to my heart, a show in which I was nominated for a Helen Hayes Award (Best Supporting Actress) for exceptional actors in this region. I've been fortunate to do this show several times and each time has been an experience BEYOND what I could have conjured up! My Creator showed me incredible favor and I developed MANY relationships as a result of this show. Not to mention, the show has a POWERFUL message of love and acceptance...
Back to the audition, I didn't get the part. Although, I was led to believe the part was mine. Either way, I wasn't upset. I'm learning: auditions are relative, they are subjective. There are so many variables that play into whether or not an actor gets a role. You can prepare and do an excellent job but it really depends on the casting team and what THEY are looking for. While it is very important to care, as an actor you have to be very comfortable with "No's", you have to know HOW to accept rejection. Not being cast for your dream role, isn't always predicated on your talent or lack thereof, sometimes, you just don't fit the type. It's not always easy to accept but with time and determination, it becomes easier to put it in its' proper perspective!
Well, today I auditioned for a local Children's Theatre and I believe my audition went OK but I walked away from it feeling some kind of way.... Although, I was grateful for the experience, I felt like it's time for me to get another creative surge...I felt like something was missing, my passion...my connectivity. I delivered my monologue and sang my song BUT I wasn't there. I've been so overwhelmed by the demands of my 9-5 job, that it was hard for me to transition. I've noticed that my creative energy has been smothered by the demands of what I am EXPECTED and REQUIRED to do. Daily, I try to rehearse these words: "Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination. Jesaira, don't worry be happy." I would be lying if I said I knew exactly what the Lord had planned but the truth of the matter is this: I HAVE NO CLUE! I'm going with the FLOW and I am not sure of my next step. Literally, I feel like I'm been led around in a dark room with many mazes, detours and turns. And sometimes, that's down right scary....
I KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN....
I can't tell you HOW many times I've sang this song but there is a part of this song that resonates in my heart. The second verse says:
Back to the audition, I didn't get the part. Although, I was led to believe the part was mine. Either way, I wasn't upset. I'm learning: auditions are relative, they are subjective. There are so many variables that play into whether or not an actor gets a role. You can prepare and do an excellent job but it really depends on the casting team and what THEY are looking for. While it is very important to care, as an actor you have to be very comfortable with "No's", you have to know HOW to accept rejection. Not being cast for your dream role, isn't always predicated on your talent or lack thereof, sometimes, you just don't fit the type. It's not always easy to accept but with time and determination, it becomes easier to put it in its' proper perspective!
Well, today I auditioned for a local Children's Theatre and I believe my audition went OK but I walked away from it feeling some kind of way.... Although, I was grateful for the experience, I felt like it's time for me to get another creative surge...I felt like something was missing, my passion...my connectivity. I delivered my monologue and sang my song BUT I wasn't there. I've been so overwhelmed by the demands of my 9-5 job, that it was hard for me to transition. I've noticed that my creative energy has been smothered by the demands of what I am EXPECTED and REQUIRED to do. Daily, I try to rehearse these words: "Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination. Jesaira, don't worry be happy." I would be lying if I said I knew exactly what the Lord had planned but the truth of the matter is this: I HAVE NO CLUE! I'm going with the FLOW and I am not sure of my next step. Literally, I feel like I'm been led around in a dark room with many mazes, detours and turns. And sometimes, that's down right scary....
I KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN....
I can't tell you HOW many times I've sang this song but there is a part of this song that resonates in my heart. The second verse says:
There's a cry
In the distance It's a voice that comes from deep within
There's a cry asking why I pray the answer's up ahead
'Cause I know where I've been.
There is a CRY within my heart...although, I know where I've been, I'm not quite sure I know where I'm going...I guess this is where my faith must kick in...I'm praying that the answer is UP AHEAD...Sometimes, this uncertainty is down right frustrating. So, after my audition today, I decided I needed to do something to get my creative surge, my creative edge back. LOL. Therefore, I'm writing this blog, lending my voice. Presently, I'm in rehearsals for an upcoming show and I've been extremely disconnected. While I am looking forward to playing the role - the rehearsal process has been very hard for me, I'm fighting my insecurities and my nervous energies. I'm a perfectionist and when I am not my best, I am very hard on myself. I believe I will get through it.
So, today I auditioned and we will see what happens.... I know where I've been, not sure of where I am going BUT I am learning to trust God.
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Let's talk about SEX!!
Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me....let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that maybe, let's about sex...SO let's talk about it!! I decided to be a little spicy because last couple of weeks, I haven't had as many page views as my first post and I want you to read my post. Read and be engaged... :-) Anyway, I guess I enjoy opening my blogs with song titles each week because I am a singer first and I connect immediately music and lyrics. I hope the title grabbed your attention. Well, by virtue of the fact you are reading this blog right now, I believe it did....
So, let's talk about SEX, a popular song by the group, Salt & Pepa back in the 90's (I believe). So, if you are waiting for me to disclose my sexual experiences, I don't think I'm ready to do that (T.M.I.) BUT I will talk about Surviving the EX. Yep, that's right, I'm talking about S.E.X. - moving forward after the EX.
Last couple of years, my dating relationships have been extremely interesting! YES, I date (for all who may be shocked), I date and I have a wonderful time meeting new, beautiful men and getting free meals (when I can)! There are some many different types of men - the assertive one, the shy one, the rich one, the educated one, the egotistical one, the gorgeous one, the healthy one, the sweet one, the fly brother, the make you wanna smack your mama brotha....Lawd Jesus, I can go on and on...God did a good thing when He created men! And WELL, then, there is the insecure one, the boring one, the not-so-cute but has a nice heart one, the extremely obese one, the need help with dress one, the one with bad breath, the broke one, the one who fears commitment, the immature one and the CONFUSED one.... Well, unfortunately, I've been running into some "confused" brothers...confused about their desires, confused about their sexuality, confused about life in general! Be clear this is not a male bashing session because I absolutely LOVE men! My, my, I'm getting excited... LOL! However, I acknowledge and realize that male/female relationships are not easy, especially when you are dating and learning about a person. So, back to my point about confusion - it's cool to be confused but to stay confused is another matter altogether....somebody say, "UNHEALTHY!!"
As I stated earlier, I've been dating - meeting a lot of good men and meeting a lot of bad ones at the same time. However, I discovered, sometimes the bad ones are not always as visible or detectable as we would like to believe or even have been taught to discern. Sometimes, the character or lack thereof shows up after several months or so of dating. And sometimes, it shows up immediately and if that case, BELIEVE what YOU SEE...it's real!!
So, I met a very attractive guy was REALLY into him and I thought he was into me as well. We had a wonderful connection, on all levels! Great communication, great chemistry, very attractive, intelligent, all of these good qualities, any woman wants. However, we had a major problem - he was very inconsistent in his actions which released confusion in our relationship and when we communicated about it, we argued instead. I really tried to understand his perspective and I believe women should always seek to understand and communicate with men. At the end of the day, I believe we all want the same thing - we just communicate very DIFFERENTLY and we have different expectations!!!
We dated off and on for almost 9 months. There were things I accepted about him because I saw beyond the external, heck I saw his potential. But listen ladies, you can "see" potential ALL you want, unless HE believes in HIMSELF...he will not demonstrate or show forth that potential. It wasn't enough for me to believe in him because he was confused and his state of confusion created damage and hurt in our relationship. I acknowledge, I stuck around for some time because perhaps I was afraid of being alone (did I say that??); however, I realized, "Hey Jesaira, there are other men fish in the sea!" LOL!!!! LOL!!!! Long story short, I decided to end the relationship and here is the motivation behind this post!
My ego was a little bruised because I allowed this gentleman to enter my personal space and he took up time and once you lose time, heck you can't get it back! And to some extent, I was emotionally connected. Lastly, I was praying and hoping for the brother! :-) Ladies, confusion really is NOT of God...it really isn't and we can not allow men to come into our atmospheres, our living space and release confusion. Confusion is a negative energy which cripples and impedes progress! So, let's talk about SEX! I'm moving on and out. Here's my philosophy, when things don't work out, SURVIVE the EX. How do we "survive" the ex? Here's are my thoughts:
1. First of all, determine within yourself - I will SURVIVE!! Moving forward consist of being resilient and determined to LIVE...to live a life that is best suited for you and not to let the "EX" have power. Don't stay mad about it, get glad and MOVE forward!
2. Acknowledge YOUR part in the relationship and LEARN from it. Sometimes experience is a great teacher...don't despise the experience, LEARN from it and then help others.
3. Be willing to take another RISK! Sometimes, true love isn't so easy to believe for and find. Wait on it and get out there again - some people are just NOT compatible and it's okay....
4. Create a list of non-negotiable qualities
5. Lastly, bring CLOSURE. Accept the relationship for where it is and keep it there. If it's dead, let is STAY dead, don't try to resurrect something that's unhealthy! It's a closed chapter in the book of your life and it's all good because there is more to be written!!
Listen, y'all - I ain't mad, I'm GOOD...I just wanted to share my story because somebody needed to hear this today. Ladies and men, KNOW your worth! Don't ever settle for second best, when BEST is waiting out there...just wait for space, time and opportunity - once they collide you will discover what you've been looking for. One of my male friends told me that sometimes men don't know what they want and truth be told, sometimes women DON'T either...can I just be real?!?! However, I am committed to working on being clear about what I want and my desires...we all should right?! LOL!!! Some nerves, huh?? Wasn't this great dialogue, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed piquing your interest, hope you felt the same way...I can't wait to share more...Yep, I'm talking about SEX - SURVIVING the EX and I'm doing well, how about you????
ENJOY your week!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
So, let's talk about SEX, a popular song by the group, Salt & Pepa back in the 90's (I believe). So, if you are waiting for me to disclose my sexual experiences, I don't think I'm ready to do that (T.M.I.) BUT I will talk about Surviving the EX. Yep, that's right, I'm talking about S.E.X. - moving forward after the EX.
Last couple of years, my dating relationships have been extremely interesting! YES, I date (for all who may be shocked), I date and I have a wonderful time meeting new, beautiful men and getting free meals (when I can)! There are some many different types of men - the assertive one, the shy one, the rich one, the educated one, the egotistical one, the gorgeous one, the healthy one, the sweet one, the fly brother, the make you wanna smack your mama brotha....Lawd Jesus, I can go on and on...God did a good thing when He created men! And WELL, then, there is the insecure one, the boring one, the not-so-cute but has a nice heart one, the extremely obese one, the need help with dress one, the one with bad breath, the broke one, the one who fears commitment, the immature one and the CONFUSED one.... Well, unfortunately, I've been running into some "confused" brothers...confused about their desires, confused about their sexuality, confused about life in general! Be clear this is not a male bashing session because I absolutely LOVE men! My, my, I'm getting excited... LOL! However, I acknowledge and realize that male/female relationships are not easy, especially when you are dating and learning about a person. So, back to my point about confusion - it's cool to be confused but to stay confused is another matter altogether....somebody say, "UNHEALTHY!!"
As I stated earlier, I've been dating - meeting a lot of good men and meeting a lot of bad ones at the same time. However, I discovered, sometimes the bad ones are not always as visible or detectable as we would like to believe or even have been taught to discern. Sometimes, the character or lack thereof shows up after several months or so of dating. And sometimes, it shows up immediately and if that case, BELIEVE what YOU SEE...it's real!!
So, I met a very attractive guy was REALLY into him and I thought he was into me as well. We had a wonderful connection, on all levels! Great communication, great chemistry, very attractive, intelligent, all of these good qualities, any woman wants. However, we had a major problem - he was very inconsistent in his actions which released confusion in our relationship and when we communicated about it, we argued instead. I really tried to understand his perspective and I believe women should always seek to understand and communicate with men. At the end of the day, I believe we all want the same thing - we just communicate very DIFFERENTLY and we have different expectations!!!
We dated off and on for almost 9 months. There were things I accepted about him because I saw beyond the external, heck I saw his potential. But listen ladies, you can "see" potential ALL you want, unless HE believes in HIMSELF...he will not demonstrate or show forth that potential. It wasn't enough for me to believe in him because he was confused and his state of confusion created damage and hurt in our relationship. I acknowledge, I stuck around for some time because perhaps I was afraid of being alone (did I say that??); however, I realized, "Hey Jesaira, there are other men fish in the sea!" LOL!!!! LOL!!!! Long story short, I decided to end the relationship and here is the motivation behind this post!
My ego was a little bruised because I allowed this gentleman to enter my personal space and he took up time and once you lose time, heck you can't get it back! And to some extent, I was emotionally connected. Lastly, I was praying and hoping for the brother! :-) Ladies, confusion really is NOT of God...it really isn't and we can not allow men to come into our atmospheres, our living space and release confusion. Confusion is a negative energy which cripples and impedes progress! So, let's talk about SEX! I'm moving on and out. Here's my philosophy, when things don't work out, SURVIVE the EX. How do we "survive" the ex? Here's are my thoughts:
1. First of all, determine within yourself - I will SURVIVE!! Moving forward consist of being resilient and determined to LIVE...to live a life that is best suited for you and not to let the "EX" have power. Don't stay mad about it, get glad and MOVE forward!
2. Acknowledge YOUR part in the relationship and LEARN from it. Sometimes experience is a great teacher...don't despise the experience, LEARN from it and then help others.
3. Be willing to take another RISK! Sometimes, true love isn't so easy to believe for and find. Wait on it and get out there again - some people are just NOT compatible and it's okay....
4. Create a list of non-negotiable qualities
5. Lastly, bring CLOSURE. Accept the relationship for where it is and keep it there. If it's dead, let is STAY dead, don't try to resurrect something that's unhealthy! It's a closed chapter in the book of your life and it's all good because there is more to be written!!
Listen, y'all - I ain't mad, I'm GOOD...I just wanted to share my story because somebody needed to hear this today. Ladies and men, KNOW your worth! Don't ever settle for second best, when BEST is waiting out there...just wait for space, time and opportunity - once they collide you will discover what you've been looking for. One of my male friends told me that sometimes men don't know what they want and truth be told, sometimes women DON'T either...can I just be real?!?! However, I am committed to working on being clear about what I want and my desires...we all should right?! LOL!!! Some nerves, huh?? Wasn't this great dialogue, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed piquing your interest, hope you felt the same way...I can't wait to share more...Yep, I'm talking about SEX - SURVIVING the EX and I'm doing well, how about you????
ENJOY your week!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Choices....
Today I have been extremely opinionated about things (perhaps it was something I ate) LOL! Or maybe it was the fact that I faced MAJOR challenges all week long which were designed to knock me off my kilter. So, I've been thinking about Amy Whinehouse and her unfortunate untimely death. I'm in no position to stand in judgment, heck I didn't know her but I will say this...talent alone does not guarantee happiness, nor it is an indicator of emotional wellness. Talent alone doesn't guarantee prosperous living either. Reports indicate that Amy Whinehouse was clear when she died and I don't dispute the fact. I guess I'm thinking about her poor choices that led to this unfortunate outcome...
So what? Why, did I bring up Amy Whinehouse? Well, I began to think about me and my "quest" in life to be a better "Jesaira". I began to think about the tremendous pressure Amy Whinehouse talked about as a result of being in the industry. I thought about her song "Rehab" and how this song was really an indicator of how she felt about the opinions of others. Truth be told, she probably needed to go to Rehab, but perhaps she didn't because she was tired of people's imposed, unwanted expectations and she wanted to live her own life. Maybe for her it wasn't a question of right and wrong, maybe it was the fact that she wanted LIVE her own life. I think I get it BUT (and there is a but factor) her poor choices led her to a self-destructive lifestyle which hurt her in the end.
Where am I going with all of this? I know this example may be an extreme case but I'm hoping it drives home my point. So, this week someone told me that I was "too opinionated", "too aggressive", "too strong" and "too dramatic" and that's why I'm not married. Hmmm, I'm a woman who prides herself in being quite compassionate and understanding when it comes to men and I am willing to accept responsibility whenever I am wrong. I've dated men that most women would not give the time or day. However, I am not a push over and I don't seek the approval of others. Is that really wrong? I have my circle of friends who hold me accountable and I answer to them...however, am I required to answer to everyone about my personality, my decisions, my choices? My father taught me a great lesson when I was 16 years old and I never forgot it....He told me: "Jesaira, you can make choices, good or bad but know you will never CHOOSE the consequences, so be wise. Don't live in fear of others and their opinions BUT be wise." Those words have stuck with me but I realize as I mature in life, not everyone is accepting of who I am, nor do they really like me...I've been called feisty, sassy and even arrogant... I admit those assumptions sting, heck they sting a lot because that's not really who I am... The question becomes should I consider what has been said?? Maybe but what if I know in my heart of hearts that really isn't who I am, is it still okay to accept this? Many people project their deficiencies on others because they themselves are in denial. Wow, I probably sound like a real rebel today...naw, I'm not, just very comfortable in my skin and I've grown to this point of self acceptance. All of us, should aim at being BETTER not bitter. Boy, I used to be SO consumed with caring about what others thought of me. I always sought to appease others until I realized: "Jesaira, YOU WILL NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY", so I decided to STOP trying....
Maybe Amy should have gone to rehab but she didn't and although, she was clean when she died...she's gone now and that won't change. There are some things in life in our lives that should be examined and changed...we do need to make better choices, choices that will lead to a prosperous life but know the difference between that and the pressure imposed by others. Aim to please God, aim to BE who He's purposed you to be...when He becomes the focus, others will be impacted without you even knowing. Although we are not flawless, He didn't make a mistake when He formed us. Will everyone approve of us? No. But does it really matter? No. Because there is a group of people who are mesmerized by you, just the way you are and they will love you for you! As a matter of fact, they are waiting for you to RISE to occasion...go ahead, rise and be the best possible YOU! Learn how to be comfortable in your skin, this isn't a license to be offensive nor rude but it is permission to be YOU! At the end of the day, you have to account for YOU!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
So what? Why, did I bring up Amy Whinehouse? Well, I began to think about me and my "quest" in life to be a better "Jesaira". I began to think about the tremendous pressure Amy Whinehouse talked about as a result of being in the industry. I thought about her song "Rehab" and how this song was really an indicator of how she felt about the opinions of others. Truth be told, she probably needed to go to Rehab, but perhaps she didn't because she was tired of people's imposed, unwanted expectations and she wanted to live her own life. Maybe for her it wasn't a question of right and wrong, maybe it was the fact that she wanted LIVE her own life. I think I get it BUT (and there is a but factor) her poor choices led her to a self-destructive lifestyle which hurt her in the end.
Where am I going with all of this? I know this example may be an extreme case but I'm hoping it drives home my point. So, this week someone told me that I was "too opinionated", "too aggressive", "too strong" and "too dramatic" and that's why I'm not married. Hmmm, I'm a woman who prides herself in being quite compassionate and understanding when it comes to men and I am willing to accept responsibility whenever I am wrong. I've dated men that most women would not give the time or day. However, I am not a push over and I don't seek the approval of others. Is that really wrong? I have my circle of friends who hold me accountable and I answer to them...however, am I required to answer to everyone about my personality, my decisions, my choices? My father taught me a great lesson when I was 16 years old and I never forgot it....He told me: "Jesaira, you can make choices, good or bad but know you will never CHOOSE the consequences, so be wise. Don't live in fear of others and their opinions BUT be wise." Those words have stuck with me but I realize as I mature in life, not everyone is accepting of who I am, nor do they really like me...I've been called feisty, sassy and even arrogant... I admit those assumptions sting, heck they sting a lot because that's not really who I am... The question becomes should I consider what has been said?? Maybe but what if I know in my heart of hearts that really isn't who I am, is it still okay to accept this? Many people project their deficiencies on others because they themselves are in denial. Wow, I probably sound like a real rebel today...naw, I'm not, just very comfortable in my skin and I've grown to this point of self acceptance. All of us, should aim at being BETTER not bitter. Boy, I used to be SO consumed with caring about what others thought of me. I always sought to appease others until I realized: "Jesaira, YOU WILL NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY", so I decided to STOP trying....
Maybe Amy should have gone to rehab but she didn't and although, she was clean when she died...she's gone now and that won't change. There are some things in life in our lives that should be examined and changed...we do need to make better choices, choices that will lead to a prosperous life but know the difference between that and the pressure imposed by others. Aim to please God, aim to BE who He's purposed you to be...when He becomes the focus, others will be impacted without you even knowing. Although we are not flawless, He didn't make a mistake when He formed us. Will everyone approve of us? No. But does it really matter? No. Because there is a group of people who are mesmerized by you, just the way you are and they will love you for you! As a matter of fact, they are waiting for you to RISE to occasion...go ahead, rise and be the best possible YOU! Learn how to be comfortable in your skin, this isn't a license to be offensive nor rude but it is permission to be YOU! At the end of the day, you have to account for YOU!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wings of Forgiveness
This week as I reflect on matters of the heart....this song comes to mind penned by a wonderful underrated artist, Indiaire - "Wings of Forgiveness". Have you ever thought of forgiveness in terms of wings?? What are wings? In a metaphorical sense, wings is defined as a means of or instrument of flight, travel or PROGRESS.... WOW! Interesting, right?? Sure, it is...consider this...
So, as many know, I've been on a health/wellness quest...a commitment to a healthier lifestyle and it's been a wonderful experience. However, I've been at a plateau with my weight for several months now and I've been trying to figure out what I need to do differently. I've lost nearly 50 pounds and I have a few more to go BUT I am stuck... Of course, I can increase my workout regimen and starve myself (LOL) but NOT! However, something / someone (God) began to speak to me about another matter that is directly connected to my weight. I pride myself on being compassionate, loving and open to others; however, I've been challenged. This week, I encountered a small physical challenge and when the doctor began to question me about my diet, my lifestyle, etc...I emphatically stated: "I take very good care of myself" but when he left the room, I went into deep thought and begin self-examination - I know but that's who I am so BE QUIET, shhh...listen!! It's my turn to speak!! :-) Could this physical challenge be a result of unforgiveness, resentment and anger? While I've been on this path to physical well-being and the pursuit of destiny, had I been neglecting my emotional health? Would you agree that TRUE personal wholeness and wellness is all inclusive - spirit, soul and body? There have been numerous reports released by Doctors to suggest that physical aliments may be a sign or an indicator of impaired emotions. Quite honestly, I'm inclined to agree. I've been frustrated about my return to MD and it's been a pretty difficult transition (say's Mother Hubert) :-)! And the truth of the matter is, I've been stressed about it and it's been impacting my health...negatively impacting my body even though I am eating properly....so, what's the moral of this entry?!?!
I decided to commit to a "lifestyle" of forgiveness and I decided to soar on its' wings.... I realize I've been hindered in this season because of deep matters of the heart that I've taken pleasure in holding on too. CRAZZZZY RIGHT!?!?! Sure, it is! However, in order to progress and move forward I must forgive myself and those who have hurt me. I have to forgive myself of unwise decisions, faltered relationships and repeated cycles. I am greater than my experience, are you?? My experience doesn't define me, my understanding of who I am does! Forgiveness is imperative because when I fail to forgive...I hinder, impede my own personal progression. Forgiveness is a personal matter! The real question is this: Do you really love yourself? And how much? If you really love yourself, then join me as I refuse to let anyone or any situation negatively impact my space, suck up my energy and snatch my purpose....Soar like an eagle on the wings of forgiveness, take flight and release yourself into the hands of the Creator...the One who has the ultimate plan! Let the wings of forgiveness be the instrument to guide you to higher heights and greater dimensions... Take flight, all aboard and FORGIVE.
I believe I can fly....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
So, as many know, I've been on a health/wellness quest...a commitment to a healthier lifestyle and it's been a wonderful experience. However, I've been at a plateau with my weight for several months now and I've been trying to figure out what I need to do differently. I've lost nearly 50 pounds and I have a few more to go BUT I am stuck... Of course, I can increase my workout regimen and starve myself (LOL) but NOT! However, something / someone (God) began to speak to me about another matter that is directly connected to my weight. I pride myself on being compassionate, loving and open to others; however, I've been challenged. This week, I encountered a small physical challenge and when the doctor began to question me about my diet, my lifestyle, etc...I emphatically stated: "I take very good care of myself" but when he left the room, I went into deep thought and begin self-examination - I know but that's who I am so BE QUIET, shhh...listen!! It's my turn to speak!! :-) Could this physical challenge be a result of unforgiveness, resentment and anger? While I've been on this path to physical well-being and the pursuit of destiny, had I been neglecting my emotional health? Would you agree that TRUE personal wholeness and wellness is all inclusive - spirit, soul and body? There have been numerous reports released by Doctors to suggest that physical aliments may be a sign or an indicator of impaired emotions. Quite honestly, I'm inclined to agree. I've been frustrated about my return to MD and it's been a pretty difficult transition (say's Mother Hubert) :-)! And the truth of the matter is, I've been stressed about it and it's been impacting my health...negatively impacting my body even though I am eating properly....so, what's the moral of this entry?!?!
I decided to commit to a "lifestyle" of forgiveness and I decided to soar on its' wings.... I realize I've been hindered in this season because of deep matters of the heart that I've taken pleasure in holding on too. CRAZZZZY RIGHT!?!?! Sure, it is! However, in order to progress and move forward I must forgive myself and those who have hurt me. I have to forgive myself of unwise decisions, faltered relationships and repeated cycles. I am greater than my experience, are you?? My experience doesn't define me, my understanding of who I am does! Forgiveness is imperative because when I fail to forgive...I hinder, impede my own personal progression. Forgiveness is a personal matter! The real question is this: Do you really love yourself? And how much? If you really love yourself, then join me as I refuse to let anyone or any situation negatively impact my space, suck up my energy and snatch my purpose....Soar like an eagle on the wings of forgiveness, take flight and release yourself into the hands of the Creator...the One who has the ultimate plan! Let the wings of forgiveness be the instrument to guide you to higher heights and greater dimensions... Take flight, all aboard and FORGIVE.
I believe I can fly....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination....
While I was in CA the earlier part of this year, I was given a wonderful gift as I prepared for my departure. BTW, I met and developed so many wonderful relationships that will last a lifetime. At any rate, I met a dear friend for lunch at Diamondback restaurant (great food) and she gave me a wonderful plague that had these words inscribed: "Happiness is the journey not the destination." The gift was definitely apropos. WHY? Well, what many didn't know was this: I wasn't happy because I was facing what I deemed to be one of the biggest decisions of my life. Let's journey back...
Back in November 2005, I decided that I would pursue a dream I had since I was a child. Anyone who knows me and knows a little bit about my childhood knows how much I enjoy being on the stage. Some people call it dramatic, I beg to differ. However, I recall going to see productions, concerts and even watching movies on the big screen and being DRAWN to it. I admit I didn't pursue for several reasons - I was too fat, I wasn't cute enough and lastly, my religious understanding at that time suggest I couldn't pursue a "secular" industry. Well, since that time, I have grown to understand God has created me with a plethora of artistic gifts and truthfully, I believe He is pleased when I am interfacing with other artists, etc....because I am an inspirational voice. I have my standards and I maintain them BUT I love and I believe that's the biggest gift any artist can offer. Anyhoo (smile), I had my first "professional" audition in 2006 and landed my first role in the musical Grease. I was very nervous and truthfully, I don't think I was that great; however, there was a strong since of fulfillment and satisfaction because I was doing what was in my heart. It was a wonderful launching pad into my life's calling/destiny and I am grateful for the experience!
I decided in 2009, to leave my very GOOD paying job in Corporate America in Media Sales to pursue my dream full time...heck, I wanna do Broadway, I want to be in movies and I want to sing! I felt compelled and led to do so and so I did. I vividly remember the day I told my boss and she looked at me smirked and made very insensitive comments. :-( Well, I moved out my nice home at the time and downsized, so that I could live off of an actor's salary. (LOL) Surprisingly, my career began to take off and I didn't have problems finding work BUT prior to me leaving I didn't handle all of my financial debt...UGH...which leads me to the inspiration behind this blog (other than my friend Mark Minnick), my life since this time has changed and has demanded something very different!!
I'm back in MD after doing some extensive traveling because of personal dynamics that now forced me to return to Corporate America. WOW! I thought about what my manager did when I left and how she really disrespected my desire to pursue my dream. While in Sonora, I believe to struggle tremendously....heck, my car was repossessed, my account overdrawn and I had a loved one that required my attention and financial assistance. I was very angry and perhaps even more so with God because I felt betrayed and forsaken. In my heart I believe that because I was living my life's purpose, every need should be met. LOL! However, I didn't plan properly, I didn't manage my debt before jumping leave Corporate and my family dynamics changed which were beyond my control and now I was needed in another capacity!
So, my friend in Sonora knew alittle bit about my story and she bought me this beautiful plague that read: Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination... So, this brings me to the point of this entry....Due to my financial mess and my family dynamic, I was forced to make a decision - Do I temporarily put my dream on hold to be responsible? Or do I keep pursuing my dream and tell everyone else where to get off?? Wow...did I just say that?? Hmmm....yes, I did because here's the thing, I love what I do, I believe I am called to it and while not the best, I strive for excellence and I desire to change a life through my career of choice. Long story short (although, this story is really quite long), I decided to go back to work and handle my responsibilities and keep my fingers crossed while doing so.
Happiness is the JOURNEY...so, it took me 5 weeks BUT I got it! While I was not happy to return, I think I understand why this author penned this saying... There will be times in life's journey when things are not as pleasant. Although, we have hopes and dreams and may given see our destiny, our destination...we can't forget the JOURNEY... Basically, it's up to you, either you appreciate every moment of the journey and change your perspective or you remain miserable and ultimately forfeit what your Creator has purposed for you. I know that this isn't the end for me, it's really the beginning! I've decided to make the most of my return to Maryland. I realize it is incumbent upon me to be responsible as I pursue life's purpose and part of that responsibility to facing my debt and caring for my loved one. Pursuing a dream isn't permission to be irresponsible, nor insensitive! I believe I will reap great benefit from my sacrifice as my perspective remains positive and pure. Life is teaching me to be grateful, to be content and to live in the moment. Why? Because happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Back in November 2005, I decided that I would pursue a dream I had since I was a child. Anyone who knows me and knows a little bit about my childhood knows how much I enjoy being on the stage. Some people call it dramatic, I beg to differ. However, I recall going to see productions, concerts and even watching movies on the big screen and being DRAWN to it. I admit I didn't pursue for several reasons - I was too fat, I wasn't cute enough and lastly, my religious understanding at that time suggest I couldn't pursue a "secular" industry. Well, since that time, I have grown to understand God has created me with a plethora of artistic gifts and truthfully, I believe He is pleased when I am interfacing with other artists, etc....because I am an inspirational voice. I have my standards and I maintain them BUT I love and I believe that's the biggest gift any artist can offer. Anyhoo (smile), I had my first "professional" audition in 2006 and landed my first role in the musical Grease. I was very nervous and truthfully, I don't think I was that great; however, there was a strong since of fulfillment and satisfaction because I was doing what was in my heart. It was a wonderful launching pad into my life's calling/destiny and I am grateful for the experience!
I decided in 2009, to leave my very GOOD paying job in Corporate America in Media Sales to pursue my dream full time...heck, I wanna do Broadway, I want to be in movies and I want to sing! I felt compelled and led to do so and so I did. I vividly remember the day I told my boss and she looked at me smirked and made very insensitive comments. :-( Well, I moved out my nice home at the time and downsized, so that I could live off of an actor's salary. (LOL) Surprisingly, my career began to take off and I didn't have problems finding work BUT prior to me leaving I didn't handle all of my financial debt...UGH...which leads me to the inspiration behind this blog (other than my friend Mark Minnick), my life since this time has changed and has demanded something very different!!
I'm back in MD after doing some extensive traveling because of personal dynamics that now forced me to return to Corporate America. WOW! I thought about what my manager did when I left and how she really disrespected my desire to pursue my dream. While in Sonora, I believe to struggle tremendously....heck, my car was repossessed, my account overdrawn and I had a loved one that required my attention and financial assistance. I was very angry and perhaps even more so with God because I felt betrayed and forsaken. In my heart I believe that because I was living my life's purpose, every need should be met. LOL! However, I didn't plan properly, I didn't manage my debt before jumping leave Corporate and my family dynamics changed which were beyond my control and now I was needed in another capacity!
So, my friend in Sonora knew alittle bit about my story and she bought me this beautiful plague that read: Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination... So, this brings me to the point of this entry....Due to my financial mess and my family dynamic, I was forced to make a decision - Do I temporarily put my dream on hold to be responsible? Or do I keep pursuing my dream and tell everyone else where to get off?? Wow...did I just say that?? Hmmm....yes, I did because here's the thing, I love what I do, I believe I am called to it and while not the best, I strive for excellence and I desire to change a life through my career of choice. Long story short (although, this story is really quite long), I decided to go back to work and handle my responsibilities and keep my fingers crossed while doing so.
Happiness is the JOURNEY...so, it took me 5 weeks BUT I got it! While I was not happy to return, I think I understand why this author penned this saying... There will be times in life's journey when things are not as pleasant. Although, we have hopes and dreams and may given see our destiny, our destination...we can't forget the JOURNEY... Basically, it's up to you, either you appreciate every moment of the journey and change your perspective or you remain miserable and ultimately forfeit what your Creator has purposed for you. I know that this isn't the end for me, it's really the beginning! I've decided to make the most of my return to Maryland. I realize it is incumbent upon me to be responsible as I pursue life's purpose and part of that responsibility to facing my debt and caring for my loved one. Pursuing a dream isn't permission to be irresponsible, nor insensitive! I believe I will reap great benefit from my sacrifice as my perspective remains positive and pure. Life is teaching me to be grateful, to be content and to live in the moment. Why? Because happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Something new....
So, I've been inspired to write...to write about me and my current experiences as a lady, an artist and as an inspiring entertainment mogul....I'm not promising daily posts but I am committing to expressing my thoughts on paper....
Simply put, this is something new, something I hope will touch others and propel others to greatness... I will use this blog to be a VOICE that impacts...
Lending my voice...
Lady J
Simply put, this is something new, something I hope will touch others and propel others to greatness... I will use this blog to be a VOICE that impacts...
Lending my voice...
Lady J
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