Choices....

Today I have been extremely opinionated about things (perhaps it was something I ate) LOL!  Or maybe it was the fact that I faced MAJOR challenges all week long which were designed to knock me off my kilter.  So, I've been thinking about Amy Whinehouse and her unfortunate untimely death.  I'm in no position to stand in judgment, heck I didn't know her but I will say this...talent alone does not guarantee happiness, nor it is an indicator of emotional wellness.  Talent alone doesn't guarantee prosperous living either.  Reports indicate that Amy Whinehouse was clear when she died and I don't dispute the fact.  I guess I'm thinking about her poor choices that led to this unfortunate outcome...

So what? Why, did I bring up Amy Whinehouse?  Well, I began to think about me and my "quest" in life to be a better "Jesaira".  I began to think about the tremendous pressure Amy Whinehouse talked about as a result of being in the industry. I thought about her song "Rehab" and how this song was really an indicator of how she felt about the opinions of others.  Truth be told, she probably needed to go to Rehab, but perhaps she didn't because she was tired of people's imposed, unwanted expectations and she wanted to live her own life.  Maybe for her it wasn't a question of right and wrong, maybe it was the fact that she wanted LIVE her own life.  I think I get it BUT (and there is a but factor) her poor choices led her to a self-destructive lifestyle which hurt her in the end.

Where am I going with all of this?  I know this example may be an extreme case but I'm hoping it drives home my point.  So, this week someone told me that I was "too opinionated", "too aggressive", "too strong" and "too dramatic" and that's why I'm not married.  Hmmm, I'm a woman who prides herself in being quite compassionate and understanding when it comes to men and I am willing to accept responsibility whenever I am wrong.  I've dated men that most women would not give the time or day.  However, I am not a push over and I don't seek the approval of others.  Is that really wrong?  I have my circle of friends who hold me accountable and I answer to them...however, am I required to answer to everyone about my personality, my decisions, my choices?  My father taught me a great lesson when I was 16 years old and I never forgot it....He told me: "Jesaira, you can make choices, good or bad but know you will never CHOOSE the consequences, so be wise.  Don't live in fear of others and their opinions BUT be wise."  Those words have stuck with me but I realize as I mature in life, not everyone is accepting of who I am, nor do they really like me...I've been called feisty, sassy and even arrogant...  I admit those assumptions sting, heck they sting a lot because that's not really who I am...   The question becomes should I consider what has been said??  Maybe but what if I know in my heart of hearts that really isn't who I am, is it still okay to accept this?   Many people project their deficiencies on others because they themselves are in denial.  Wow, I probably sound like a real rebel today...naw, I'm not, just very comfortable in my skin and I've grown to this point of self acceptance.  All of us, should aim at being BETTER not bitter.  Boy, I used to be SO consumed with caring about what others thought of me.  I always sought to appease others until I realized: "Jesaira, YOU WILL NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY", so I decided to STOP trying....

Maybe Amy should have gone to rehab but she didn't and although, she was clean when she died...she's gone now and that won't change.  There are some things in life in our lives that should be examined and changed...we do need to make better choices, choices that will lead to a prosperous life but know the difference between that and the pressure imposed by others.  Aim to please God, aim to BE who He's purposed you to be...when He becomes the focus, others will be impacted without you even knowing.  Although we are not flawless, He didn't make a mistake when He formed us.  Will everyone approve of us?  No.  But does it really matter?  No. Because there is a group of people who are mesmerized by you, just the way you are and they will love you for you!  As a matter of fact, they are waiting for you to RISE to occasion...go ahead, rise and be the best possible YOU!  Learn how to be comfortable in your skin, this isn't a license to be offensive nor rude but it is permission to be YOU!  At the end of the day, you have to account for YOU!

Lending my voice,

Lady J