Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination....

While I was in CA the earlier part of this year, I was given a wonderful gift as I prepared for my departure.  BTW, I met and developed so many wonderful relationships that will last a lifetime.  At any rate, I met a dear friend for lunch at Diamondback restaurant (great food) and she gave me a wonderful plague that had these words inscribed: "Happiness is the journey not the destination."  The gift was definitely apropos.  WHY?  Well, what many didn't know was this:  I wasn't happy because I was facing what I deemed to be one of the biggest decisions of my life.  Let's journey back...

Back in November 2005, I decided that I would pursue a dream I had since I was a child.  Anyone who knows me and knows a little bit about my childhood knows how much I enjoy being on the stage.  Some people call it dramatic, I beg to differ.  However, I recall going to see productions, concerts and even watching movies on the big screen and being DRAWN to it.  I admit I didn't pursue for several reasons - I was too fat, I wasn't cute enough and lastly, my religious understanding at that time suggest I couldn't pursue a "secular" industry.  Well, since that time, I have grown to understand God has created me with a plethora of artistic gifts and truthfully, I believe He is pleased when I am interfacing with other artists, etc....because I am an inspirational voice.  I have my standards and I maintain them BUT I love and I believe that's the biggest gift any artist can offer.  Anyhoo (smile), I had my first "professional" audition in 2006 and landed my first role in the musical Grease.  I was very nervous and truthfully, I don't think I was that great; however, there was a strong since of fulfillment and satisfaction because I was doing what was in my heart.  It was a wonderful launching pad into my life's calling/destiny and I am grateful for the experience!

I decided in 2009, to leave my very GOOD paying job in Corporate America in Media Sales to pursue my dream full time...heck, I wanna do Broadway, I want to be in movies and I want to sing!  I felt compelled and led to do so and so I did. I vividly remember the day I told my boss and she looked at me smirked and made very insensitive comments.  :-(  Well, I moved out my nice home at the time and downsized, so that I could live off of an actor's salary.  (LOL)  Surprisingly, my career began to take off and I didn't have problems finding work BUT prior to me leaving I didn't handle all of my financial debt...UGH...which leads me to the inspiration behind this blog (other than my friend Mark Minnick), my life since this time has changed and has demanded something very different!!

I'm back in MD after doing some extensive traveling because of personal dynamics that now forced me to return to Corporate America.  WOW!  I thought about what my manager did when I left and how she really disrespected my desire to pursue my dream.  While in Sonora, I believe to struggle tremendously....heck, my car was repossessed, my account overdrawn and I had a loved one that required my attention and financial assistance.  I was very angry and perhaps even more so with God because I felt betrayed and forsaken.  In my heart I believe that because I was living my life's purpose, every need should be met.  LOL!  However, I didn't plan properly, I didn't manage my debt before jumping leave Corporate and my family dynamics changed which were beyond my control and now I was needed in another capacity!

So, my friend in Sonora knew alittle bit about my story and she bought me this beautiful plague that read:  Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination...  So, this brings me to the point of this entry....Due to my financial mess and my family dynamic, I was forced to make a decision - Do I temporarily put my dream on hold to be responsible?  Or do I keep pursuing my dream and tell everyone else where to get off??  Wow...did I just say that??  Hmmm....yes, I did because here's the thing, I love what I do, I believe I am called to it and while not the best, I strive for excellence and I desire to change a life through my career of choice.  Long story short (although, this story is really quite long), I decided to go back to work and handle my responsibilities and keep my fingers crossed while doing so.

Happiness is the JOURNEY...so, it took me 5 weeks BUT I got it!  While I was not happy to return, I think I understand why this author penned this saying...  There will be times in life's journey when things are not as pleasant.  Although, we have hopes and dreams and may given see our destiny, our destination...we can't forget the JOURNEY...  Basically, it's up to you, either you appreciate every moment of the journey and change your perspective or you remain miserable and ultimately forfeit what your Creator has purposed for you.  I know that this isn't the end for me, it's really the beginning! I've decided to make the most of my return to Maryland.  I realize it is incumbent upon me to be responsible as I pursue life's purpose and part of that responsibility to facing my debt and caring for my loved one.  Pursuing a dream isn't permission to be irresponsible, nor insensitive!  I believe I will reap great benefit from my sacrifice as my perspective remains positive and pure.  Life is teaching me to be grateful, to be content and to live in the moment.  Why?  Because happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination!

Lending my voice,

Lady J