Today I have been extremely opinionated about things (perhaps it was something I ate) LOL! Or maybe it was the fact that I faced MAJOR challenges all week long which were designed to knock me off my kilter. So, I've been thinking about Amy Whinehouse and her unfortunate untimely death. I'm in no position to stand in judgment, heck I didn't know her but I will say this...talent alone does not guarantee happiness, nor it is an indicator of emotional wellness. Talent alone doesn't guarantee prosperous living either. Reports indicate that Amy Whinehouse was clear when she died and I don't dispute the fact. I guess I'm thinking about her poor choices that led to this unfortunate outcome...
So what? Why, did I bring up Amy Whinehouse? Well, I began to think about me and my "quest" in life to be a better "Jesaira". I began to think about the tremendous pressure Amy Whinehouse talked about as a result of being in the industry. I thought about her song "Rehab" and how this song was really an indicator of how she felt about the opinions of others. Truth be told, she probably needed to go to Rehab, but perhaps she didn't because she was tired of people's imposed, unwanted expectations and she wanted to live her own life. Maybe for her it wasn't a question of right and wrong, maybe it was the fact that she wanted LIVE her own life. I think I get it BUT (and there is a but factor) her poor choices led her to a self-destructive lifestyle which hurt her in the end.
Where am I going with all of this? I know this example may be an extreme case but I'm hoping it drives home my point. So, this week someone told me that I was "too opinionated", "too aggressive", "too strong" and "too dramatic" and that's why I'm not married. Hmmm, I'm a woman who prides herself in being quite compassionate and understanding when it comes to men and I am willing to accept responsibility whenever I am wrong. I've dated men that most women would not give the time or day. However, I am not a push over and I don't seek the approval of others. Is that really wrong? I have my circle of friends who hold me accountable and I answer to them...however, am I required to answer to everyone about my personality, my decisions, my choices? My father taught me a great lesson when I was 16 years old and I never forgot it....He told me: "Jesaira, you can make choices, good or bad but know you will never CHOOSE the consequences, so be wise. Don't live in fear of others and their opinions BUT be wise." Those words have stuck with me but I realize as I mature in life, not everyone is accepting of who I am, nor do they really like me...I've been called feisty, sassy and even arrogant... I admit those assumptions sting, heck they sting a lot because that's not really who I am... The question becomes should I consider what has been said?? Maybe but what if I know in my heart of hearts that really isn't who I am, is it still okay to accept this? Many people project their deficiencies on others because they themselves are in denial. Wow, I probably sound like a real rebel today...naw, I'm not, just very comfortable in my skin and I've grown to this point of self acceptance. All of us, should aim at being BETTER not bitter. Boy, I used to be SO consumed with caring about what others thought of me. I always sought to appease others until I realized: "Jesaira, YOU WILL NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY", so I decided to STOP trying....
Maybe Amy should have gone to rehab but she didn't and although, she was clean when she died...she's gone now and that won't change. There are some things in life in our lives that should be examined and changed...we do need to make better choices, choices that will lead to a prosperous life but know the difference between that and the pressure imposed by others. Aim to please God, aim to BE who He's purposed you to be...when He becomes the focus, others will be impacted without you even knowing. Although we are not flawless, He didn't make a mistake when He formed us. Will everyone approve of us? No. But does it really matter? No. Because there is a group of people who are mesmerized by you, just the way you are and they will love you for you! As a matter of fact, they are waiting for you to RISE to occasion...go ahead, rise and be the best possible YOU! Learn how to be comfortable in your skin, this isn't a license to be offensive nor rude but it is permission to be YOU! At the end of the day, you have to account for YOU!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wings of Forgiveness
This week as I reflect on matters of the heart....this song comes to mind penned by a wonderful underrated artist, Indiaire - "Wings of Forgiveness". Have you ever thought of forgiveness in terms of wings?? What are wings? In a metaphorical sense, wings is defined as a means of or instrument of flight, travel or PROGRESS.... WOW! Interesting, right?? Sure, it is...consider this...
So, as many know, I've been on a health/wellness quest...a commitment to a healthier lifestyle and it's been a wonderful experience. However, I've been at a plateau with my weight for several months now and I've been trying to figure out what I need to do differently. I've lost nearly 50 pounds and I have a few more to go BUT I am stuck... Of course, I can increase my workout regimen and starve myself (LOL) but NOT! However, something / someone (God) began to speak to me about another matter that is directly connected to my weight. I pride myself on being compassionate, loving and open to others; however, I've been challenged. This week, I encountered a small physical challenge and when the doctor began to question me about my diet, my lifestyle, etc...I emphatically stated: "I take very good care of myself" but when he left the room, I went into deep thought and begin self-examination - I know but that's who I am so BE QUIET, shhh...listen!! It's my turn to speak!! :-) Could this physical challenge be a result of unforgiveness, resentment and anger? While I've been on this path to physical well-being and the pursuit of destiny, had I been neglecting my emotional health? Would you agree that TRUE personal wholeness and wellness is all inclusive - spirit, soul and body? There have been numerous reports released by Doctors to suggest that physical aliments may be a sign or an indicator of impaired emotions. Quite honestly, I'm inclined to agree. I've been frustrated about my return to MD and it's been a pretty difficult transition (say's Mother Hubert) :-)! And the truth of the matter is, I've been stressed about it and it's been impacting my health...negatively impacting my body even though I am eating properly....so, what's the moral of this entry?!?!
I decided to commit to a "lifestyle" of forgiveness and I decided to soar on its' wings.... I realize I've been hindered in this season because of deep matters of the heart that I've taken pleasure in holding on too. CRAZZZZY RIGHT!?!?! Sure, it is! However, in order to progress and move forward I must forgive myself and those who have hurt me. I have to forgive myself of unwise decisions, faltered relationships and repeated cycles. I am greater than my experience, are you?? My experience doesn't define me, my understanding of who I am does! Forgiveness is imperative because when I fail to forgive...I hinder, impede my own personal progression. Forgiveness is a personal matter! The real question is this: Do you really love yourself? And how much? If you really love yourself, then join me as I refuse to let anyone or any situation negatively impact my space, suck up my energy and snatch my purpose....Soar like an eagle on the wings of forgiveness, take flight and release yourself into the hands of the Creator...the One who has the ultimate plan! Let the wings of forgiveness be the instrument to guide you to higher heights and greater dimensions... Take flight, all aboard and FORGIVE.
I believe I can fly....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
So, as many know, I've been on a health/wellness quest...a commitment to a healthier lifestyle and it's been a wonderful experience. However, I've been at a plateau with my weight for several months now and I've been trying to figure out what I need to do differently. I've lost nearly 50 pounds and I have a few more to go BUT I am stuck... Of course, I can increase my workout regimen and starve myself (LOL) but NOT! However, something / someone (God) began to speak to me about another matter that is directly connected to my weight. I pride myself on being compassionate, loving and open to others; however, I've been challenged. This week, I encountered a small physical challenge and when the doctor began to question me about my diet, my lifestyle, etc...I emphatically stated: "I take very good care of myself" but when he left the room, I went into deep thought and begin self-examination - I know but that's who I am so BE QUIET, shhh...listen!! It's my turn to speak!! :-) Could this physical challenge be a result of unforgiveness, resentment and anger? While I've been on this path to physical well-being and the pursuit of destiny, had I been neglecting my emotional health? Would you agree that TRUE personal wholeness and wellness is all inclusive - spirit, soul and body? There have been numerous reports released by Doctors to suggest that physical aliments may be a sign or an indicator of impaired emotions. Quite honestly, I'm inclined to agree. I've been frustrated about my return to MD and it's been a pretty difficult transition (say's Mother Hubert) :-)! And the truth of the matter is, I've been stressed about it and it's been impacting my health...negatively impacting my body even though I am eating properly....so, what's the moral of this entry?!?!
I decided to commit to a "lifestyle" of forgiveness and I decided to soar on its' wings.... I realize I've been hindered in this season because of deep matters of the heart that I've taken pleasure in holding on too. CRAZZZZY RIGHT!?!?! Sure, it is! However, in order to progress and move forward I must forgive myself and those who have hurt me. I have to forgive myself of unwise decisions, faltered relationships and repeated cycles. I am greater than my experience, are you?? My experience doesn't define me, my understanding of who I am does! Forgiveness is imperative because when I fail to forgive...I hinder, impede my own personal progression. Forgiveness is a personal matter! The real question is this: Do you really love yourself? And how much? If you really love yourself, then join me as I refuse to let anyone or any situation negatively impact my space, suck up my energy and snatch my purpose....Soar like an eagle on the wings of forgiveness, take flight and release yourself into the hands of the Creator...the One who has the ultimate plan! Let the wings of forgiveness be the instrument to guide you to higher heights and greater dimensions... Take flight, all aboard and FORGIVE.
I believe I can fly....
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination....
While I was in CA the earlier part of this year, I was given a wonderful gift as I prepared for my departure. BTW, I met and developed so many wonderful relationships that will last a lifetime. At any rate, I met a dear friend for lunch at Diamondback restaurant (great food) and she gave me a wonderful plague that had these words inscribed: "Happiness is the journey not the destination." The gift was definitely apropos. WHY? Well, what many didn't know was this: I wasn't happy because I was facing what I deemed to be one of the biggest decisions of my life. Let's journey back...
Back in November 2005, I decided that I would pursue a dream I had since I was a child. Anyone who knows me and knows a little bit about my childhood knows how much I enjoy being on the stage. Some people call it dramatic, I beg to differ. However, I recall going to see productions, concerts and even watching movies on the big screen and being DRAWN to it. I admit I didn't pursue for several reasons - I was too fat, I wasn't cute enough and lastly, my religious understanding at that time suggest I couldn't pursue a "secular" industry. Well, since that time, I have grown to understand God has created me with a plethora of artistic gifts and truthfully, I believe He is pleased when I am interfacing with other artists, etc....because I am an inspirational voice. I have my standards and I maintain them BUT I love and I believe that's the biggest gift any artist can offer. Anyhoo (smile), I had my first "professional" audition in 2006 and landed my first role in the musical Grease. I was very nervous and truthfully, I don't think I was that great; however, there was a strong since of fulfillment and satisfaction because I was doing what was in my heart. It was a wonderful launching pad into my life's calling/destiny and I am grateful for the experience!
I decided in 2009, to leave my very GOOD paying job in Corporate America in Media Sales to pursue my dream full time...heck, I wanna do Broadway, I want to be in movies and I want to sing! I felt compelled and led to do so and so I did. I vividly remember the day I told my boss and she looked at me smirked and made very insensitive comments. :-( Well, I moved out my nice home at the time and downsized, so that I could live off of an actor's salary. (LOL) Surprisingly, my career began to take off and I didn't have problems finding work BUT prior to me leaving I didn't handle all of my financial debt...UGH...which leads me to the inspiration behind this blog (other than my friend Mark Minnick), my life since this time has changed and has demanded something very different!!
I'm back in MD after doing some extensive traveling because of personal dynamics that now forced me to return to Corporate America. WOW! I thought about what my manager did when I left and how she really disrespected my desire to pursue my dream. While in Sonora, I believe to struggle tremendously....heck, my car was repossessed, my account overdrawn and I had a loved one that required my attention and financial assistance. I was very angry and perhaps even more so with God because I felt betrayed and forsaken. In my heart I believe that because I was living my life's purpose, every need should be met. LOL! However, I didn't plan properly, I didn't manage my debt before jumping leave Corporate and my family dynamics changed which were beyond my control and now I was needed in another capacity!
So, my friend in Sonora knew alittle bit about my story and she bought me this beautiful plague that read: Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination... So, this brings me to the point of this entry....Due to my financial mess and my family dynamic, I was forced to make a decision - Do I temporarily put my dream on hold to be responsible? Or do I keep pursuing my dream and tell everyone else where to get off?? Wow...did I just say that?? Hmmm....yes, I did because here's the thing, I love what I do, I believe I am called to it and while not the best, I strive for excellence and I desire to change a life through my career of choice. Long story short (although, this story is really quite long), I decided to go back to work and handle my responsibilities and keep my fingers crossed while doing so.
Happiness is the JOURNEY...so, it took me 5 weeks BUT I got it! While I was not happy to return, I think I understand why this author penned this saying... There will be times in life's journey when things are not as pleasant. Although, we have hopes and dreams and may given see our destiny, our destination...we can't forget the JOURNEY... Basically, it's up to you, either you appreciate every moment of the journey and change your perspective or you remain miserable and ultimately forfeit what your Creator has purposed for you. I know that this isn't the end for me, it's really the beginning! I've decided to make the most of my return to Maryland. I realize it is incumbent upon me to be responsible as I pursue life's purpose and part of that responsibility to facing my debt and caring for my loved one. Pursuing a dream isn't permission to be irresponsible, nor insensitive! I believe I will reap great benefit from my sacrifice as my perspective remains positive and pure. Life is teaching me to be grateful, to be content and to live in the moment. Why? Because happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Back in November 2005, I decided that I would pursue a dream I had since I was a child. Anyone who knows me and knows a little bit about my childhood knows how much I enjoy being on the stage. Some people call it dramatic, I beg to differ. However, I recall going to see productions, concerts and even watching movies on the big screen and being DRAWN to it. I admit I didn't pursue for several reasons - I was too fat, I wasn't cute enough and lastly, my religious understanding at that time suggest I couldn't pursue a "secular" industry. Well, since that time, I have grown to understand God has created me with a plethora of artistic gifts and truthfully, I believe He is pleased when I am interfacing with other artists, etc....because I am an inspirational voice. I have my standards and I maintain them BUT I love and I believe that's the biggest gift any artist can offer. Anyhoo (smile), I had my first "professional" audition in 2006 and landed my first role in the musical Grease. I was very nervous and truthfully, I don't think I was that great; however, there was a strong since of fulfillment and satisfaction because I was doing what was in my heart. It was a wonderful launching pad into my life's calling/destiny and I am grateful for the experience!
I decided in 2009, to leave my very GOOD paying job in Corporate America in Media Sales to pursue my dream full time...heck, I wanna do Broadway, I want to be in movies and I want to sing! I felt compelled and led to do so and so I did. I vividly remember the day I told my boss and she looked at me smirked and made very insensitive comments. :-( Well, I moved out my nice home at the time and downsized, so that I could live off of an actor's salary. (LOL) Surprisingly, my career began to take off and I didn't have problems finding work BUT prior to me leaving I didn't handle all of my financial debt...UGH...which leads me to the inspiration behind this blog (other than my friend Mark Minnick), my life since this time has changed and has demanded something very different!!
I'm back in MD after doing some extensive traveling because of personal dynamics that now forced me to return to Corporate America. WOW! I thought about what my manager did when I left and how she really disrespected my desire to pursue my dream. While in Sonora, I believe to struggle tremendously....heck, my car was repossessed, my account overdrawn and I had a loved one that required my attention and financial assistance. I was very angry and perhaps even more so with God because I felt betrayed and forsaken. In my heart I believe that because I was living my life's purpose, every need should be met. LOL! However, I didn't plan properly, I didn't manage my debt before jumping leave Corporate and my family dynamics changed which were beyond my control and now I was needed in another capacity!
So, my friend in Sonora knew alittle bit about my story and she bought me this beautiful plague that read: Happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination... So, this brings me to the point of this entry....Due to my financial mess and my family dynamic, I was forced to make a decision - Do I temporarily put my dream on hold to be responsible? Or do I keep pursuing my dream and tell everyone else where to get off?? Wow...did I just say that?? Hmmm....yes, I did because here's the thing, I love what I do, I believe I am called to it and while not the best, I strive for excellence and I desire to change a life through my career of choice. Long story short (although, this story is really quite long), I decided to go back to work and handle my responsibilities and keep my fingers crossed while doing so.
Happiness is the JOURNEY...so, it took me 5 weeks BUT I got it! While I was not happy to return, I think I understand why this author penned this saying... There will be times in life's journey when things are not as pleasant. Although, we have hopes and dreams and may given see our destiny, our destination...we can't forget the JOURNEY... Basically, it's up to you, either you appreciate every moment of the journey and change your perspective or you remain miserable and ultimately forfeit what your Creator has purposed for you. I know that this isn't the end for me, it's really the beginning! I've decided to make the most of my return to Maryland. I realize it is incumbent upon me to be responsible as I pursue life's purpose and part of that responsibility to facing my debt and caring for my loved one. Pursuing a dream isn't permission to be irresponsible, nor insensitive! I believe I will reap great benefit from my sacrifice as my perspective remains positive and pure. Life is teaching me to be grateful, to be content and to live in the moment. Why? Because happiness is the JOURNEY not the destination!
Lending my voice,
Lady J
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Something new....
So, I've been inspired to write...to write about me and my current experiences as a lady, an artist and as an inspiring entertainment mogul....I'm not promising daily posts but I am committing to expressing my thoughts on paper....
Simply put, this is something new, something I hope will touch others and propel others to greatness... I will use this blog to be a VOICE that impacts...
Lending my voice...
Lady J
Simply put, this is something new, something I hope will touch others and propel others to greatness... I will use this blog to be a VOICE that impacts...
Lending my voice...
Lady J
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)